Just Another Weekend ? ( not for this old coot) Another Kelley Epistle: Once again, I'll begin by catagorizing everything so you can skip what might not be of interest. ( If you are so demented as not to be interested in billiards, fast cars, land speed records, freeway crashes or beautiful women..........what are you good for?). There is some explanation about pool for racers and some explanation about racing for pool players. Freeway Crash: Crash on Cajon Pass: 6-9-06 Just about 9 p.m. Friday night when I was going to get a good night's sleep for the regional pool matches in the morning, I got a call from Pete Prentice, my racing partner, that somebody had crashed into the race car trailer on Cajon Pass as he was heading to El Mirage dry lake with our racecar for Sunday's racing event. (I wasn't going. I was committed to the regional pool tounamnet. We were competing for an all-expense paid trip to the nationals in Las Vegas. More about that later). Anyhow, I took the secret back road to the accident site about a mile past the 138 on-ramp. By then, the CHP had things under control. Seems a pickup truck had crossed into the "Slow Truck Lane" at about 75 mph and collided with Pete who was lugging the trailer up the pass at 25 mph. The rear of the trailer was smashed in and the huge steel gooseneck ball-mounting plate was ripped clear out of the truck bed. The three starting batteries were smashed and sulfuric acid was all over everything in the rear of the trailer. Tools and equipment were scattered about inside. The eye bolts that held the roadster tie-down straps had broken off (must have been cast iron?). Luckily, I found the special $100 magneto clamp laying in the street that needed to be returned to the dealer. (Later found that it was also twisted and I was out $100). Somehow, the truck (Tom Dually) was still driveable, so Pete took off for George Callaway's at El Mirage to get a new truck that we could tow with.. Motorists protected from shysters ??: Meanwhile the "CHP approved" tow truck arrived. The driver said they were not affiliated with AAA and I was not allowed, per CHP, to contact AAA for a tow. Cost: $225 per hour port to port. They came from Riverside through Friday night traffic on I-15. (A veritable Gold mine for a slow truck). The CHP officer said we could use our own truck if we could get it there before the tow truck arrived. Pete got back too late. So, I had the trailer towed about 2 miles to Newton's Outpost truckstop Total Cost: $900 !! The driver said the CHP had set it up so that all accident-invoved towing could only be done by their "approved" towing companies, so it could all be computerized and "No shysters could take advantage of motorists". Boy! Am I glad no shyster was able to cheat me! I'm sure glad the CHP has the towing situation figured out. What would I do without Big Brother? (Call AAA, of course, where it's free). Now, I wouldn't want to accuse our valiant guardians of the highway of being crooked or taking kickbacks. Certainly not! No Way! BUT, when you compare $900 for a 2-mile tow to a 200 mile tow from AAA for free, something stinks, wouldn't you say? After all, I'm sure AAA checks out their towing companies' integrity too. Billiards: (The reason I was not at El Mirage). Our 8-ball team, called "Balls in Hand", had already qualified for the division playoffs and had come in 2nd which allowed us to compete in the regionals. That was pretty amazing to me, as I'd never gotten that far in my brief tenure with the APA. ( American Poolplayers Assoc.). Regional championships: There were 27 of the best teams competing for a 5-day all expense paid trip to the nationals in Las Vegas in August. They too, had already won their division championships, so there were no slouches. I knew about 80% of the players from previous games in our division (and, I play in 2 divisions). Saturday 6-10-06: Our team: Mike Waddingham (Captain SL-4), Paul Black (SL-7), Dave Newcomb (SL-6), Sara Chrisney SL-4, Curtis Jones SL-5?, Dawn Kennedy SL-3, and myself SL-3. For you racers, all the games are handicapped according to the players' skill levels 2 to 7. 7 is best. After getting to bed Sat at 0300 because of the crash, I had to get up at 0600 to be in Yucaipa by 0800 for the regionals. We lost our first match, but Sat. matches are double elimination so we still had a chance to win from the losers side of the "Big Chart". From there, we hung on by the skin of our teeth, just barely winning matches 3-2. (Each match is 5 games). One team had to forfeit a game because they only had 4 players show up. There is always a lot of luck (good and bad) interspersed with some great skill. Each of our players did very well at times and not so well at other times. But, the timing was perfect. Each time one player bungled a game, another player got hot and won a game to make up for it. Still, all but one of our matches went to a tie of 2 games to 2 and we had a tension filled shootout to win the match. We had a break from about 3pm to 8pm, so I drove home to my "Not Very Much Land or Cattle Co" digs (45 min.) to tend the animals and get some sleep. My pure white attack cat "Taco" was on duty as always and everything was A-OK. (The next time you eat Mexican food, remember that "taco" is "o-cat" spelled backwards). Just a coincidence? Back at the pool hall again at 8pm, we continued to play until about 0300 Sunday. The last match was cut short to a "Sudden Death" one-game match (regardless of skill level) to save time (save time? It was already 0300). Luckily, our SL-7, Paul Black, was up and he had to play a SL5. Still not a shoe-in by any means. Any small bungle can lose the match (and in this case, eliminate us from the tournament). We were all extremely tense, and Paul was wound tight. Coronary time for us all. He persevered through the tension and won the game! He was emotionally spent! Just laid face-down on the floor and breathed again. We were now able to proceded to Sunday's single eliminations. Got to bed at 0400 Sunday. Had to be back at 0900 again as I recall. Sunday 6-11-06: At one point, it was I who had to win the remaining game. The team began chanting, "Ken Kelley for the win". I did fairly well and then at an important juncture, David Newcomb, (my coach) called a time out (we get 1 per game at regionals), and showed me a different approach that would set up the 8-ball for a winning shot. Thanks to Dave, I was able to win that critical game! The team cheered and shouted and I was the Hero! "Ken Kelley for the win" resounded throughout the billiard hall! I'd been using a new cue built by the cue guru who was selling and repairing cues there. He said, "Try it; see if it feels good before you buy it". Yep, you guessed it, I bought that $200 cue and got a $90 cue bag as well. I felt like Willie Mosconi with my new hardware! The next match was a strategy sacrafice for me to play a SL-6 and save our own 6s and 7s for lesser players. I figured that with my new cue, I was Willie Mosconi, and could beat that "6". The closest I got was one try at the 8-ball and I missed! I was stomped 6 to zip ! But, that was what the sacrafice was about. I did something I can be very good at, I lost! So much for being Willie Mosconi.....humility is good for the soul. Back to reality. Meanwhile back in the desert: El Mirage dry lakes, Adalanto CA. These races involve attempts at existing land speed records on a 1.5 Mile course on the dirt. That's where Pete was taking the car when the crash occurred. So. Cal. hot rodders have been racing there since the 30's and 40's when they were evicted from Rogers and Rosamond and Muroc when the military needed those larger lakebeds for Edward's AFB. We had another break in the pool games and I went home again for a while. I had an e-mail that Pete had gotten the trailer unloaded and with help from George Callaway, Dave Cox, Ray Troby, Willie Voesten, and other racers, had gotten the car ready to go early Sunday morning and had raised our record from 233 mph to 234 mph! Just right when you're in the points chase!. Keep it easy to get more points later. We were 2nd in 2004. The points champions get a spiffy jacket and free lifetime membership in SCTA. (That's about $60 per year, which is a lot of money when you consider how old some of these lands speed racers get). Thanks to all who helped out! BTW, Pete ran the fastest speed ever turned at El Mirage back in 1999 at 312 mph. (Not with my car though) At this point somebody always asks, "Do you drive too?". Yes, been doin' it for years. I ran over 200 in 1959. (Pete was born in 1969, that's why he has so much energy!). I ran 260 in 2004 on the salt. So, I have a hot shoe too! The need for speed doesn't go away just 'cause you're old and fat and bald. We'll both drive at Bonneville in August. It is fortunate that the Pool Nationals do not conflict with the Bonneville Nationals. The miss by 2 days! Be prepared for yet another epistle! Back to Billiards. Armed with the good news about the car and our record, I got back to the pool hall at 6pm or so (?). Everybody continued playing well and we progressed to the very last match for the trip to 'Vegas. But, once again, it came down to a 2-2 tie and I was in the limelight again. I'd pleaded with the other team members, "Please win. Don't make me play another "do or die" match, I've served my time". But, fate was to cast me into the lion's den once more, and I vowed to do my duty to God and country (so I wouldn't have to hang myself). Eating worms wouldn't suffice, only hanging would do if I lost our trip to vegas! Again, our team was chanting, "Ken Kelley for the win". This can be intimidating to an opponent who may be led to believe I actually have taken on the skills of Willie Mosconi by sporting a brand new cue. They don't know what a bumbling buffoon I can be from time to time. I played a lady who was also a SL-3 like myself. That meant it was a race to 2 games. She was a good player. She was ahead on the first game, when she inadvertently sunk the 8-ball, thus losing the game. I avoided being a bad sport and shouting, "YAHOO" ! (Remember what I said about good and bad luck?). So, now, I am "on the hill" as they say in this arena, and my team is shouting "Ken Kelley for the win" some more. Again, it came to be that she had only one ball left and I had 3. My time out had been used and I was on my own. As I recall (It's all a blur now and memories differ as to the details), I made one ball and the cue ball was at the far end of the table from the 2-ball which required a very touchy cut shot into the end pocket. It was a very tough shot.................and somehow, I made it! Now, everybody is yelling, and "Ken Kelley for the win" is reverberating about the pool hall once more. I had only to sink the 8-ball, but the cue ball had rolled back to the far end of the table again, leaving another cut shot as difficult as the 2-ball had been. Tension, Tension, Tension! With pounding heart, bleary eyes, and shaking hands, I let fly the cue ball for the win and all the marbles.....and I sunk it! CHAOS ENSUED! There was shouting and group hugging and more "Ken Kelley for the win" and Paul Black rolled over on the floor, and all the women ripped off their blouses (just kidding!), and it was pandemonium indeed! The losing team was as disappointed as we were elated, but they were good sports and gave us hugs and congrats too. Eventually, things quieted down and we got trophys and photos from Bob Michaels who runs the whole San Bernardino area and make this possible. Thanks again, Bob! And, thanks also to Yucaipa Billiards who hosted the event. They are dedicated to pool players and the APA, and they have a great place with 15 tables, good food, and no smoking inside! I hope to join a 9-ball team there next Sunday! We were all pretty tired after 48 hours of pool and being part of... as they say on ESPN, "The thrill of victory..........and the agony of defeat". Oh, "What about the beautiful women", you ask? Well, there were lots of 'em! And they like to hug everybody, which makes My day. AND, they tend to wear their lowest cut blouses to distract their opponents. (Yes, it works on me too)! Even my own "Guardian Angel" was there with her new boyfriend! The most beautiful lady of all! I'm sure it was my Guardian Angel that helped with the good luck in racing and pool as well. Thanks, Angel! Well, I'm exhausted again from just writing about it! Kelley out.